We may encounter many wonderful love interests in our lives. They come into our life for a short while and leave us with some good memories. Once in awhile, we find ourselves with a desire to reconnect with them. Or perhaps we have an accidental meeting. Can such a reconnection really work?
If you have the urge to find an old flame, there are more ways than ever to find people. Social and professional networks like Facebook and LinkedIn have incredible reach. There are sites that specialize in connecting former classmates and coworkers. Some companies have online forums or virtual bulletin boards where you can post a request.
One day, your search is successful! Butterflies are in your stomach as you think about the next step. What now? That depends on what your motivation is for reconnecting.
For some people, reconnecting is a one-time event to learn how the person is doing and what their life has been like. For others, the intention is to rekindle love. Both are valid reasons and can be approached the same way.
The first step is to just establish communication with the person. Are they interested in talking with you? Forcing a one-sided chat is not productive. Be open to whatever happens. If romance is in the future, it will happen.
The first chat is about catching up on your lives. Talk about what you've both been doing since you saw each other the last time. This is an interesting time and can be a little scary. Take it slow and easy. You may well discover during the first conversation how this will turn out. Be truthful with each other. At some point during the conversation, the little question might pop into your mind "What if?".
You both need to get to know each other again. Years may have gone by since seeing each other and all of those experiences have molded each of you. How have your likes, dislikes and preferences changed over those years?
Set some limits, some boundaries on this relationship. The person may not be interested in a relationship at all and be content with "catching up". Respect that and move on. The lives of two people could suffer if things are pushed beyond the boundaries.
To really create a reconnection, you may have to talk over some old pain. Past disagreements, misunderstandings, perhaps a breakup. Get all of that out in the air. Give both of you a chance to release that old energy. It'll make room for new, better energy!
If your reconnection results in romance, then congratulations! Statistics show that many of these "lost-and-found" romances are successful and result in long-term connections, including marriage. The divorce rate of these unions is also lower that the average. A major key for success is that both parties are not attached when they reconnect.
What if one or both of you are attached or married? This creates a challenge, because now there are four people involved in the relationship! Unfortunately, affairs occur at a high rate when people reconnect and buried feelings surface. This could be a blessing if you both are in an unhappy relationship. Good relationships can be crippled, though, so really think before you leap into anything that you might regret later!
Reconnecting with old lovers can be exciting if done for the right reasons. Sometimes, dormant love will blossom once again creating a lot of happiness for two people. Be open to what may happen. Don't force it. Allow love to happen, if it is there waiting for the chance.
Since we always carry it with us, can you really call it "old love"?