Who is responsible for our own happiness by Gracepetals

Gracepetas Oranum psychicWe are! Who else should be responsible for OUR happiness? There is a very popular song with the title “Happy” written by Pharrell Williams. He “tapped in” to what we all need to live and learn. Happiness is a choice. What is it exactly that life is throwing at us? What lessons has our soul chosen to learn and experience? And how comfortable are we with who we are? What is it like to be in our skins?


We begin our life in certain situations; some of us start out from very dysfunctional families, some with no family, some in very loving, thriving families. Our early years set the tone, our soul sets the lessons.

If we are dependent on others for our happiness, we will be disappointed. What happens if they don’t “show up” for us? Imagine yourself standing at the “Happiness bus stop.” You know the bus driver is going to take you to your happiness destination. He has many times before. Ah, but this day he decides to take a different route. You wait… and wait. The happiness bus doesn’t show up at your bus stop today. He has stopped at someone else’s bus stop. You walk away, sad and hurt that he didn’t make a stop for you.

Many people in our societies have been “conditioned” to give away the responsibility for their own happiness. We all need to learn that we can be as happy as we allow ourselves to be.

We hear stories of people who endured a horrendous childhood, others with experiences in their adult years that would cause most to spend the rest of their years in an emotional and mental place of darkness. They made a choice to grow into a different place. Their decision paved the way to the fact that their life experience was of joy and happiness.

There was a woman named Alice Herz-Sommer who survived the concentration camps, and had her life spared because she was an accomplished pianist who brought music to the ears of those who in other cases would have caused pain. Alice was interviewed before she died in February 2014, at the stunning age of 110. A movie was made about the story of her life. Alice radiated joy and happiness. She would say, “Why not be happy? I am doing what I love. No one can take that from me.” Alice spent years surrounded by many who were tortured and abused, spending every day wondering when their “time was up.” She stood her ground. She kept room in her heart for joy. She made the decision that she would rise above the place of sadness and death. Did Alice’s happiness depend on others? We make choices every day. We make the choice to set our alarms, get out of our beds and get ready to go to a job that may or may not be something we enjoy. We make choices where to stop for our morning coffee, how we respond to the co-worker who drives us crazy. When we are called into our supervisor’s office for a “chat” we make the choice of how we will respond. If that chat leads to a dismissal we then have the choice to stay in the ‘I am unemployed’ place, or we pick ourselves up and decide perhaps that was the best thing to have happened to us. We now have the choice to find something better. And we can decide to be happy about this.

The secret to how we move through our lives is where we decide to live emotionally. Do we allow our thoughts to find excuses for why we can’t move on to something better? When we discover that we can, in fact, control what we think, which in turn governs our emotions, we will be successful. We will be as happy as we are meant to be. Life is change. We can stay stuck in our place, or we can find a reason to be happy about the change and flow freely along with it.

Think of the things that bring you happiness. Do you find happiness through what others do? Will you find it while wearing the new pair of shoes you have just bought? Do you follow what the media advises you to be happy? What happens when the shoes wear out? When a person you trusted to bring you joy, suddenly leaves your life? When the shade of lipstick that is the “in colour” for the season is no longer available?

The media is flooding with stories of people who had overcome hard times and somehow found a way to make the most of it. Stories of people choosing to make a difference. Stories of the fact that if we live in a place of joy and happiness, it can change another’s life as well, not to mention our general well-being.

I recently watched a short video about a trio of musicians in Germany. They took their talents to the streets one day to see if they could make a difference in the lives of the homeless. One man sat down beside a homeless man who had a dirty worn bucket beside him. The musician turned the bucket over and began to play it as if it were a bongo. A few people began to gather. This man’s friend came with a guitar and sat down beside them. He began to play. More people stopped to listen. And finally, the third person joined. A female vocalist began to sing along with the ‘bongo’ and guitar. At this point many people had stopped to listen to them. They played as if they were on stage with their band equipment to an audience of thousands. The homeless man sat in disbelief, wondering why they had chosen to sit beside him. When the three stopped playing, they stood up, and the bongo player turned the bucket over and handed it back to the homeless man.

Then a wonderful thing happened. The people who had been standing and listening to the music, began to dig into their pockets. The homeless man watched, with tears streaming down his face, as these onlookers dropped money into his dirty, worn bucket. The three musicians gave this man heartfelt hug, and they walked away. Happiness was radiating from everyone that day. What began with a simple gesture of love and goodwill resulted in hearts full of joy. And of course, a bucket of love and happiness for the homeless man. Everything we do begins inside of us. We have the choice of seeing our lives as something outside of our control, or a wonderful expression of who we are. Imagine the healing that would take place if we could find happiness in ourselves, in our hearts, and share it with others. We then could all join Pharrell Williams singing, “Because I’m happy…”

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