On the Road Again - Dating After a Dry Spell

Dating After a Dry SpellIt’s been a long time since you’ve dated and suddenly have an urge to try it out. You’re afraid that you won’t know what to do or how to act. Maybe you’re as nervous as the 40 Year Old Virgin. Whatever you’re feeling is normal for you. And if you’re ready to try dating again, you can make it work.

Be OK With Your Current Status

The first thing to do is to be OK with being single. That is perfectly OK. In fact, the more you can enjoy being single, the better your dating attempts will go. When you’re good with being single, you’re grounded in yourself and that will come across when you meet new people.

If being single bothers you, then you may approach dating with the thoughts “I need to find a partner”, “It’s not good being single. I need to be with someone” or “I won’t be happy unless I find someone.” Those energies will come out to people, too. And those dates won’t go so well.

Look How You Want People To See You

Sorry, but there are no perfect “10s” in the world. Everyone has their physical flaws. The so-called “10s” you see in magazines and on TV are the result of creative makeup and Photoshop efforts. What you want to display to the world is your natural beauty.

Dress and act in ways that you want people to see you. When you look at yourself in the mirror and can smile at your appearance, other people will, too. When you look in the mirror and scare yourself, you’ll have the same effect on the people you meet.

Friends Are There To Help

Your friends are there to support you with whatever you try in the dating world. They are also a good way to start getting the word out that you are interested in dating again. Be open to their suggestions. And to their match-making efforts. They mean well even though you’re not interested in anyone they suggest.

Many people get connected with someone because they are a friend of a friend of a friend. Your personal network, social media, car pools and study partners are all good ways to spread the word.

“But, dating has changed”

Yes, it has. At some level. At another level, people are still looking to connect with someone with which they can enjoy life. There might be an emphasis on social networking and dating networks, but this is just the procedural part of dating. The goals are still the same.

Have fun learning the new approaches. Try out some different ways to connect. Laugh at yourself when you’ve made a “mistake”. Congratulate yourself when you’ve had a breakthrough. Have fun with the entire process and stay focused on your goal.

Be The Person You Are Now While Dating

If you last dated 10 years ago, don’t try dating as if you were 10 years younger. Stay grounded in your current age and situation. Are you widowed? Divorced? With young kids? Grown up kids? Retired? Whatever your current situation, that is the person you are and the person you will be when dating.

Any effort to be something different will just get you strange looks and questions. At some time in the date, you will slip into your real self, because it’s what you’re most comfortable with. Then the person you’re dating will wonder where that other person went that they’ve been dating.

Building a Relationship

When you approach dating this way, you’ll find that it’s easier to create a long term relationship because you’ve been yourself the whole time. People who try to be something else find it hard to do this long term because they know they’ll have to reveal their true selves eventually. Start out by being yourself and you’ll find that person who really does connect with you because you are who you are.

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