How to learn to be happy by Ava321

Ava321 Oranum expertThere is a lot of pressure on adults to be “happy” Though in the search for it we have to wonder what happiness is all about? Is it learned or is it intuitive? It boils down to this: the only way we can be “happy” is by having “happy” things happen to us. (Whatever they might be?) Unfortunately as adults that kind of forced pushy “happiness” usually leads to depression and despair. I believe it is only as children that we are born happy and are intuitively and spiritually connected to a state of happiness.

Early from birth we have a memory of where we came from. We’re on Earth now but we weren’t before. We remember a different existence (sort of). Though as the years go on what we remember fades until we have no memory of our other life forms at all. We were born with happiness, we knew who we are but the longer we’re on Earth the more our memory is jeopardized of how we used to be. However as adults we lose our intuitive happiness and become swept up in material possessions, routines, and the pressure to meet our “soulmate”. There is also so much suffering in the world that finding happiness sometimes seems impossible. Happiness seems like a secret night club, a secret handshake that only a few people with the right “connections” are able to obtain. There are illnesses, divorces, deaths. With this overall suffering we are left pondering: “what awful thing did I do to deserve to be put through all this?” A child commits suicide out of despair from cyber- bullying. People lose their jobs and are now homeless. And the so called “soulmate” says out of the blue that he or she doesn’t love you anymore. And to make matters worse we saddled with the not too “communicative” way of “connecting”. With so many media outlets we’re talking to everyone yet essentially talking to no one and we’re the most disconnected nationwide as we have ever been. So with newfound “happiness” pressure and our failure to get it we become a psychologist-dependent pill-popping, very unhappy nation. And don’t forget the concept of MONEY! Money, money, money. Without money we’re “unhappy”, and the only way to get anywhere is by having “money.” Money is a wonderful means to “fulfill” us in a higher existential place enlightened people would laugh over how something so green and so papery has the power to control people’s lives. So to summarize happiness: we’re born with it; we lose it and finally have to relearn it. 

Now that we have that part out of the way let’s really get to the heart of the matter in how to obtain happiness. Psychologists will push for forgiveness. “Forgive everyone that’s hurt you…” etc. Make peace with awful family members, possibly murderers? Psychologist Carl Jung once had a statement about the concept of our existence. He believed in what is called the “personal conscious.” He went as far as proposing the existence of a second far deeper form of unconscious underlying the personal one. This was the collective unconscious where the archetypes themselves resided in mythology or “by a body of water.” Well what is this? What is this supposed to mean? Organized religions will peddle their higher power of preference, and self-help magazines books will tell you to do just more yoga. Remember yoga is all about body and mind and “peace of mind. “Without it we will” never be fulfilled.” If one managed to breathe the right way then we will be associated and forever tied together with the “supreme.” So everyone let’s go under a tree and start “om-ing,” hurry, let’s do it we’re nearly on our way to “enlightenment.“ The self-help guru seminars will give you tips towards finding our “soul mate”. And don’t forget to pay myself and staff the thousands of dollars we want by the front door. This is all “good and well”, but this approach is ironically on the lighter side and misses the big picture. All you’re getting is life problems being reiterated again and again. You find yourself frustrated and wondering: “Yes, we’re unhappy and we know this! Why are you telling us what we already know unless you’re able to come up with a solution that works?”

In order to find happiness we have to go back to the basics. We have to take the focus off ourselves yet make our own actions and ourselves in them create our own happiness. The only way we can help ourselves is to help others. We don’t look for our soul mate; we’re already our own soul mate. We don’t quest off for answers they’re already within in us; we don’t need anyone else to complete us we’re already our own person of completion. Meditate and think without thinking who we really are. We are on our own internal plane of existence. We don’t have to obtain material objects – all we have to do is give what we have. Instead of messaging on Facebook, write an email. Instead of an email, write a letter. Donate your time in a soup kitchen. Give money to a homeless person instead of a check to a charity.

These things sound trite and potentially corny but making an adjustment starting on a small scale makes the difference on a larger scale. Love is strongest when we’re ready to lose everything. Can you love so much that you’re willing to die for someone else? Would you gladly take a bullet or happily hand over both kidneys? When we’re helping other people we’re saving ourselves. In doing this we find out who we really are and who we’re meant to be. When someone dies don’t think of it as a tragedy but a transition. Be okay with the fact that they’re moving to a level that you’ll want to be and who you’re meant to be. Part of us is going with the loved one. Be grateful that we’re going to be there soon. Though of course in theory that sounds ridiculous. we wonder why loss is ever ok. In our opinion it isn’t and we’re not really in the mood to have whatever “enlightened” state that we’re supposed to have tested. We’ll soon once again be intact and be not only who we were meant to be but who we once were. In doing all this we have finally relearned the concept and or slogan of what happiness is all about. Happiness does come from within. And there may be a chance that while we weren’t aware of it we could have been happy this whole time.

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