Friends with Benefits. A Good Thing?

What does friends with benefits mean? Simple, it means a person that you enjoy a mutually exclusive sexual relationship with without the romantic connection of a conventional relationship. The only reason for this is to enjoy and satisfy physical cravings.  The relationship has to not have any emotional or romantic involvement. You might ask can this type of relationship really be established and maintained.  The answer depends on who you ask but it would seem the research indicates that the vast majority of people cannot maintain this type of relationship but that it can be done. Some seem to be able to successfully make it work.  

There seems to be certain “rules” that must be followed to make this type of relationship work.  The research indicates that if these “rules” can be followed than perhaps the relationship will work. But again, if you are thinking about getting into one of these types of relationships, strongly re-think it. It is rarely able to be done. But for those of you that might want to give it a try, let’s look at the advice to making it work. 

First, friends with benefits is based solely on the idea of 100% trust.  This means do not enter into this type of relationship with someone you cannot trust 100%.  This in and of itself is a hard quality to find for this type of relationship. But again, it can be done. 

Next, who would make a good friend with benefits? Ex-boyfriends or girlfriends if both people ended the relationship on good terms with each other make good candidates.  You already know each other’s bodies well which means an easy transition. But a word of caution, beware or re-cling by forgetting why the relationship didn’t work out the first time. If one of you forgets and re-clings, the friend with benefits part is over. 

Another potential person to try to make this type of relationship work with would be the ex-girlfriend or boyfriend of a friend.  This can be very tricky.  But the good news is there is already familiarity; you know this person and have probably spent some time with them, although not sexual.  The question will arise, do we tell our friends about this? Yes, because eventually they will find out. Keeping it a secret is not a good idea.  

How about a boss?  The “rule” for this is clear; they have to have made a move on you.  This is usually easier for female bosses with lesser power men because they seem to not want to make it a relationship. If it’s a male boss and a younger and lesser in power female, friends with benefits tends not to work as well if at all. 

The next suggestion is a former employee.  This is an unlikely scenario but one that has evidently worked in the past.  The key is the former employee has to have had some attraction to you in order to agree with this. So tread carefully on this one.  

Following is a co-worker. This can work but it has to be kept totally professional. The person you may be thinking about has to be entirely mature enough to not bring the sexual relationship into the professional setting.  

The next suggestion is a friend of your parents or if your older someone older than you that may have been a friend of the family. Again, you have the familiarity with this person but be prepared for a person not as sexy as someone in their 20’s.  Of course there are some great looking and in shape older people but the majority have put on a bit of weight and have wrinkles and what not. The good news is they are usually mature and better equipped to handle a friend with benefits relationship. 

Finally, a friend who hasn’t reached the good friend or best friend level are good candidates. These would be people you don’t see every day.  This way you can’t possibly be on an emotional level with them.

If you are spiritual and believe in tarot cards perhaps look to those for guidance and advisement.

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