Controlling Relationships

In astrology, Scorpio’s are believed to be the most controlling of all signs.  Having a relationship with a Scorpio is extremely difficult and complicated. Many of them stay on their own so they don’t have to deal with whose going to control what.  The flip side is that they are fiercely loyal while at the same time being terrifically jealous and possessive.  This doesn’t mean that all Scorpio’s are going to be like this perhaps. But it is important to note when discussing controlling relationships. 

Sometimes in the beginning of a relationship it may be hard to notice that you are being controlled.  What will soon happen, however, is that you will feel trapped in the control. It can bring about fear for you and your partner.  Once you realize you are being controlled, this in fact is true; it’s usually a very scary feeling.  

Feeling this way can lead to depression, isolation and low self-esteem.  It’s best to get out of the relationship as fast as you can unless you and your partner can somehow work it out.  Counseling is usually needed by an advisor or professional counselor. 

What you can do in the meantime is to write down everything that you do with your partner and how you feel about each thing.  Ask yourself, am I being controlled to do these things or are they things I really enjoy?  Do I feel like I am walking on eggshells or am I free to be myself?  These are two critical questions that can help you decide on whether or not you are in a controlling relationship. 

Another item to consider is how is this behavior, whatever it may be, affecting our relationship? Does it bring me joy or does it bring me depression, isolation and feelings of despair? 

If you decide that you are in a controlling relationship what you need to do is take a stand.  You can take steps to change the pattern.  The key is to take back control of your own life.  Tell your partner what it is you want out of the relationship. You cannot always bow down to your partner’s requests and behaviors. You have to have your life in control according to your own beliefs.  Maybe your partner does not realize how you feel and what he or she is doing.  But once you make them aware of it, things must change on both your parts or it is not worth the pain.  It is at that point that you may need to change from how to make the relationship ok to how to leave the relationship. 

After you take a stand, try talking it out. If the controlling behavior is in any way emotionally or physically abusive then get out. But if not, then endeavor to try to talk things out.  The way to do this is to give examples to the controlling partner of behaviors where they have controlled you. Tell them how it made you feel.  Let them know you are trying to work this out but that they must be willing to as well. 

Controlling relationships cause too many people to be trapped and to lose themselves.  If you find yourself in one, follow these steps. You must find your personal power again and regain your life on your terms.

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