Alone On The Holidays

Alone On The HolidaysWhether you broke up with your partner this summer or this past weekend, you are probably in a similar mood. With the holidays approaching, you may find yourself in the position of being alone for the festivities.  Here are some things that might help you actually enjoy these times without being miserable!

Personal relationships take time and focus from the other people in our lives. Now is the time to put that attention back to friends and family.  Reach out to people now. Invite people over for a visit. Meet them at their homes or in coffee shops.  Reconnect with old friends from long ago. You won’t need to give a history of why your love interest didn’t work out. Just say that it took up a lot of your time and you didn’t connect with others as much. Your friends will appreciate your efforts to reconnect with them.

Spend the time and money to do self care.  Treat yourself now.  This is the time to be extravagant with yourself. Go to your favorite spa. Buy a new outfit. Don’t be afraid to buy yourself lots of little gifts.  Call a friend up and go to a concert or a play. Go to a movie with a group of friends.  Do some of the things that you hesitated to do for yourself when you were in a relationship.

You may feel like curling up in a cave all winter, not seeing anyone and not going anywhere. Try doing just the opposite! Go to every party you’re invited to. Get a professional makeover first and WOW them at the party! Our tendency is to dress down when we’re upset, use little or no makeup, and just generally try to look as bad as we feel.  The opposite approach is to look as good as we want to feel and show it off to others. All of the complements on how good you look will boost your energy every time!

Take the time to inspect your own beliefs about the holidays and what they mean to you.  You may see their focus as being on love, giving, or being grateful. Find activities that get you involved with those feelings.  Volunteer at a food bank. Adopt a little brother or sister for the holidays. Help with a holiday dinner at the church for the community.  When you step into some of these activities the cause of which you have a passion for, you step out of yourself.

The holidays are not often a good time to find a new love interest.  So you might want to defer your online dating searches until after all of the holiday energy has moved on.  But, you can have fun by putting the word out to friends and family that you wouldn’t mind meeting new people just to go to dinners or parties with. Be very up front that you’re not interested in a long term relationship. Call it friends-for-a-day. It’s very likely that you’ll meet people that are in a similar situation and want someone to chat with or have a nice lunch.

These are all ideas with the goal of a few simple things: get you out of the house, get you around other people and get you doing things to feel good about yourself. Yes, this is all about taking care of yourself! No, I didn’t start this out with that statement because...you already knew that you need to take care of yourself now more than ever!

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